"I'm not the girl"
3:25 p.m. on 2003-07-07
You want me to be
I will never be
So get over me!
I am not the girl
I'm going to be
Nothing more to say*
This is one of the choruses in a song titled "I'm not the girl", sung by Rachel Farris. I don't know who Rachel Farris is, am not sure what type of singer she'd be classified under, but I really love this song! I first heard it when my dad and I saw the Hulk movie at Mountlake 9. No, "I'm not the girl" isn't part of the movie sountrack. My dad recieved a mini disc with some of Rachel's songs when he ordered his drink, and then before the movie itself started, I watched part of a music video in which Rachel is singing her song.
In a way, this song does describe me. I always have this feeling that people want me to be somebody I'm not. Some changes are meant to positive however, like being more patient and treating people better. I know I have to work on those things, and I am working on them, but that's not what I'm talking about here. Sometimes when I'm having a conversation with another person, and I'm being myself by mentioning one of my interests, they don't want to talk anymore. Or I'll ask Shannan a question, and she has a tendency to either not answer me or say "never mind" or "nothing" in response.
No, no, those aren't good examples. I've had two diary reviews so far, and in both of them, I get points taken off because I don't have long, insightful entries. I do mainly lists, but no reviewer has said they liked my blessings. (If any of my past reviewers did say anything positive about this diary, I don't remember those comments.) I get knocked down just for being myself. I don't have a job. I don't have any tales of gossip in the office or a cute guy at work I have a crush on. I wish I could come up with stories that are even half as good as some entries belonging to people who are on my fave. lists, but if I waited for those moments to come before doing another entry in here, I wouldn't update at all.
This is my diary, and I like writing in here. I may not be the most popular diariest, but I do have friends at this website.
Sometimes I think people want me to be a cheerful girl, patient and loving, someone who everybody likes. I'm not. I am loving, but I'm impatient, I'm a complainer, not nice all the time (but do any of you Diarylanders know anyone who's nice all the time)...I have my faults, but I have good traits too.
I didn't intend to write an entry in which I'm trying to defend myself. I wanted to do this for Pieces-ofyou. New topic is "Has anyone heard a song that reminded them of you? If not, have you heard a song that reminds you of yourself?"
I can still send this entry to the colab website. Don't remember reading any rule that said "You can't go off on tangents".
Bye for now readers. 'Til I find something else I'd like to share to multiple people at the same time.
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